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Bereaved

CD Knowles 9 months ago

Dear Knowles,

I hope you can help me clarify this situation. About a month ago a very important person in our family passed away. She was in her early 90s and had been my mother’s housekeeper and best friend for the better part of fifty years. I very badly wanted to go to her memorial (I’ve known her since I was four years old), but we had planned a ski trip that was already paid for and so we didn’t attend the service. I’ve gotten a lot of flack about this from friends and am curious about your opinion. I’ve been eaten up by guilt since her death.

Sincerely,

Bereaved

bereaved

Dear Bereaved,

Many things in life are situational. You wanted to attend your old friend’s memorial but couldn’t because of a previous arrangement. Death doesn’t stop for arrangements, nothing you can do about that. No matter what choice you make, someone will always be pissed off. But listen, your heart was in the right place, your thoughts were with your friend and that’s really all that counts. I know quite a number of people who won’t go to funerals period, so don’t feel guilty — you did the best you could. And I’ll bet your friend, wherever she is, smiling down at you.

All the best,

CD Knowles

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REACTIONS TO  BULLIED BY DAUGHTERS

bullied

Dear Bullied,

Wow if those were my girls, I’d be furious. I don’t care if they’re grown and out of the house. You’re their mother and you brought them up, always there for them, so they should respect you and the choices you make and always have your happiness uppermost in their hearts. I wouldn’t put up with their nastiness for a minute!

Ella S., Dallas, TX

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Dear Bullied,

In my opinion, we should always give our children the benefit of the doubt. If your girls don’t like your new boyfriend there may be a good reason why. I suggest you talk to them, see what they’re thinking before making decisions. It might just be that there’s really something wrong with this guy and you’re too smitten to see it. Remember, love makes us blind.

William C., Albuquerque, NM

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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

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