I hope you can help me because I’m feeling really bad about myself. I had a baby (a little girl) almost three years ago and I haven’t been able to get rid of the weight. I’ve tried everything — diets, exercise, walks, power yoga, intermittent fasting, even hypnosis. Before I got pregnant, I had a trim athletic body and now I’m … I like to say roly poly because it sounds cute, but really I’m just plain fat. My fault, I admit, because I don’t stick to diets or exercise plans very long. With all the work of being a mother and holding a part-time job as a paralegal I’m hungry all the time. I thought breastfeeding would get rid of pregnancy weight, but in my case it didn’t. Another problem — actually the biggest — is that my husband openly admits he’s less attracted to me at this weight and is very disappointed that I haven’t been able to take it off. Sometimes he actually watches me while I eat and makes demeaning remarks if he sees me do something like pop a cookie in my mouth or eat too many French fries. Please let me know if you have ideas of how to fix this.
All the best,
Big Fat Mama
I have several suggestions. I know I frequently tout therapy in this column, but certainly you and your husband could benefit from a few sessions with a good licensed professional, preferably a family therapist who understands the physical and hormonal stresses of pregnancy and postpartum. Sessions with a nutritionist would be beneficial, too. You want to see someone who knows about food sensitivities and who could administer a test showing which foods your body reacts to in a way that creates inflammation in the system. Often people who try different diets and don’t lose weight have hormonal issues. Get your thyroid checked; that’s important. And try doing some research. There’s plenty of information out there. Above all, don’t lose heart. If you go about this systematically, you’ll find answers and shed the baby weight in the end.
All the Best,
REACTIONS TO FEELING LIKE A FOOL
I lost the love of my life because I couldn’t make up my mind. It was exactly like Knowles said, I kept wondering if this was it or if there was someone else, even though I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Looked at another way, you could have a commitment problem. I sure did. Good luck.
Joe T., Chicago, IL
I think more men than women have this problem. Maybe that’s because we know our hearts better. Just go for it, for god’s sake and stop prevaricating. That’s my advice.
Robin B., Brooklyn, NY
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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.