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Birth Control Blues

CD Knowles 6 months ago

Dear Knowles,

I’ll keep this short and sweet. I’m in a bit of a predicament. It’s pretty personal, but you’re the one to take difficult problems to, right? So I met this girl about two months ago. I really like her, everything’s cool, except for one thing — birth control. She was on the pill when I met her, but it started making her feel really sick. She’d tried other brands in the past, but they’d all made her feel sick. I asked her to try an I.U.D. but that wasn’t going to work either, she wanted me to use condoms. Well, I can’t stand condoms. In fact, I’d almost rather go without sex than use condoms. I told her the solution was I’d pull out before ejaculation, but she doesn’t think that’s a safe method. So here we are having all kinds of sex, but not proper intercourse, and it’s driving me crazy. What should I do? I think I love this girl and need answers.

Birth Control Blues

birth control

Dear Birth Control Blues,

I understand your displeasure. Condoms aren’t fun and can take away from sensation. However, in the absence of other forms of birth control, they’re necessary. Pulling out is unsafe due to leakage of tiny drops of sperm before the event, plus using such a method requires the kind of self-control that isn’t always possible. You can make love without protection at “safe” times of the month (shortly before and after menstruation) but there are no guarantees. Here’s my take on the matter: it’s the woman’s body — not yours — that’s at risk for pregnancy. Therefore, when it comes to birth control, it is really up to the woman — in other words, her choice that counts. What can I say? Man up and deal, or move on to someone else.

All the best,

CD Knowles



big fat mama

Dear Mama,

I feel for you. It took me four years to lose the baby weight and I only lost it because I got giardia and was so sick with nausea, vomiting and diarrhea that I couldn’t hold down much food. Hang in there. Maybe something will come along to blast off the excess fat.

Cynthia Q., New Orleans, LA


Dear Mama,

I know your husband may not like your roly-poly appearance, but I say relax and enjoy your new life with your baby and don’t worry too much about anything else. Ultimately your body will return to its correct weight, especially if you don’t fixate on it too much.

Thomas E., Gary, IN



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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

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