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Divided in Philly

CD Knowles 3 years ago

Dear Knowles,

I’m going to try you out with a tricky question. It’s about me and my husband. We’ve been married for twenty-five years. He’s a republican and I’m a democrat and we’ve always joked about canceling each other out in elections. He hates Hillary with a fervor I don’t understand and, despite being college educated and highly intelligent, voted for Trump in the 2016 election. Now, while I love him as a person and the father of my children, I can’t stand him, if you know what I mean. It’s like we live in two different countries. Every time I look at him all I can think is, You voted for Trump, you must be an idiot. I don’t want to leave him and yet I have lost all respect. What to do?

— Divided in Philly


Illustration by Dave van Patten

Dear Divided,

Ah yes, that is a conundrum. You can agree to disagree, a tactic that takes a great deal of self discipline, fortitude, acceptance and restraint. If you love everything about him except his politics, I suggest you treat that one side of him as a foible and let it go. No need to disrupt a long and happy marriage over a fool in the White House. If you still cannot contain yourself and find you want to punch him in the mouth every time he opens it, then you should consider marriage counseling. Here’s my true advice: you sound as if you love the guy, so for Chrissakes don’t be an idiot and let a jerk like Trump have the power to divide you. Best, CD Knowles


Dear Knowles,

I don’t know who to turn to except you. I think I may be about to commit a murder

I received the above note in my personal email inbox. I promise to do my best to find and help this tortured soul. To this end I will publish his/her questions whenever they appear.



Dear Dickless,

My opinion is that you’re a closet gay looking for some cock to suck on. Wha wha wha, you’ve been hiding in the closet your whole life. Well, I suggest you be a brave little boy and get outta there. You’re lucky your trans friend even wants to be with you. Enjoy the bulge in her panties, hopefully she hasn’t gotten rid of the whole thing and you’ll find out who you really are.

– Big Boy, Brooklyn


Dear Dickless,

Me thinks thou doth protest too much. Anyone attracted to trans is weird. Probably you’re one yourself, want to cut off your dick and see what life’s like with a pussy. I have no objection to that. What I object to is your chilling hypocrisy.

– Jane Doe, somewhere in the USA


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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

Cover art by David Rowe