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Exasperated Mom

CD Knowles 7 months ago

Dear Knowles,

I’m the single mom of a five-year-old girl. I work as the executive assistant to the CEO of an important organization plus, in my off hours, I’m attempting to write a novel. My daughter is obviously the most important thing in the world to me, but after her comes the novel. I’ve been told I have talent and encouraged to write my whole life but all I have to show are a few short stories, so I feel I’m already behind. My daughter is a good little girl, but she can sometimes be whiny and demanding. I hesitate to say this, but there’ve been times when I’ve wanted to throttle her for nagging me or making noise when I’m trying to focus on written work. I’ll yell at her and tell her to go to her room and then feel horribly guilty — like I don’t deserve a child. Are these emotions normal? Do I have to examine these feelings of anger, regret, irritability or does every mother have them?

Exasperated Mom

exasperated mom

Dear Exasperated,

You’re not alone in your feelings. I can tell you every mother, particularly those who are single, experiences moments of anger, regret, irritability. It’s hard work being a mom. You want to be alone to think or read a book or go to the bathroom and you can’t because you always have this dependent creature attached to you. And so, when you’re trying to do something creative and there are constant interruptions, of course you grow angry and impatient. My advice? First, talk to other mothers. Second, set up work times when your daughter’s asleep, out of the house, or busy with a game or project that will consume hours of her attention. And third, keep writing!

I wish you the best,

CD Knowles


angry and confused

Dear Angry,

I don’t like a lot of drama at my table. Passing out next to the toilet? Arguing over the merits of the clown in the White House? For me, personally, I’d tell none of them to come and go out for a nice turkey dinner with my husband.

Esther R., Queens, NY


Dear Angry,

I grew up as a debater and so I welcome arguments (or discussions) at the Thanksgiving table. As for the drunken daughter-in-law, give me a break. She’s a grownup who should know how to comport herself, but she’s also probably an addict who should be in AA, so start talking to her about recovery programs and tell her you don’t welcome drunks; if she becomes difficult, she will have to leave. That’s my advice.

David G., Austin, TX


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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

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