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Frustrated Wife

CD Knowles 6 months ago

Dear Knowles,

Recently my husband of forty-two years informed me that he was no longer interested in having sex with me. We are the same age, sixty-seven, and have had an active love life for most of our marriage. He was very careful to explain that he loves me as much as he ever did and that his lack of interest has nothing to do with me — he has simply lost his sex drive. In a way I’m very hurt. I don’t want to go off and have sex with someone else (he said he’d understand if I did) and yet I know I will deeply miss that part of our relationship. FYI, we’ve used Viagra the past few years. It worked fine, but my husband has now become asexual. My question has two parts: is this normal for a man in his sixties, and is there anything I can do to change the problem?

Thanks ahead of time,

Frustrated Wife

frustrated wife

Dear Frustrated Wife,

Sounds like your husband’s mind is made up and you’ll just have to find some way to live with the decision. You guys have been together a long time and hopefully your love will carry you through this awkward passage to a relationship of deep acceptance and understanding. Clearly you don’t want to take a lover, but vibrators work for sure, so there is always that option. And to answer the first part of your question: Yes, it’s normal for men in their sixties to lose their sex drive (it’s common for women, too). I wish you the best of luck in this new phase.


CD Knowles




at the end

Dear At the End,

I think CD’s advice is excellent. Start reading the most neutral, serious, factual news you can find. The rest is noise. Good reporting such as you will find in both the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal will help you understand both conservative and liberal points of view. I am appalled by how prevalent fake news is and how much it clouds and corrodes people’s minds. There’s no way to discuss politics unless you’re truly informed. So: inform yourself and save your marriage. Sincerely,

Ann W., Amherst, MA


Dear At the End,

The political division in our country is real and brutal. You may not agree about Trump, but how about issues such as gay marriage and abortion? If you can’t agree on those, get ready for divorce. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings.

John K, St Louis, MO


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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

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