This is not a new topic, but it’s very disturbing to me. It’s probably been written about hundreds of times by now, but I really don’t care. I’m married to a man who voted for Trump. Yes, that’s the truth. My face turns scarlet as I write this. Not a single friend or acquaintance of mine voted for that bastard and I always cover up for my husband, who is a stockbroker, because I’m so embarrassed by his choice. When we married twenty-six years ago, he was a liberal democrat who voted for Bill Clinton. But then he started making money and his views changed. I know he’s secretly horrified by the notion of same sex marriage, a topic he gets very quiet about when the subject comes up. And I know the main reason he voted for Trump was to ensure the nomination of conservative judges (no excuse!). I love my husband. We have two daughters and enjoy many things in common, just not politics. At the moment our policy is not to talk about Trump, but underneath I’m boiling all day long and keep thinking: how can a smart man like my husband be on the side of such a deplorable human being? I don’t want to divorce but don’t know how to handle this.
Can you advise, please?
Well, you’re not going to be able to change your husband or his beliefs, so I’d advise against trying. If you guys enjoy debate, that’d be fine as long as you keep it friendly. As for your embarrassment over his choice, I understand it’s a tricky situation but so what? He’s an independent person with independent beliefs and while you may not respect his way of thinking, you’ve got to leave him alone. Who cares what your friends think? More important is the question of your marriage and whether it will endure two different ways of looking at such a disgusting personality as Trump. From what I’ve seen thus far, most marriages survive the debacle that is Trump as long as both parties agree to ignore the elephant in the room. And really, why let such an awful man ruin your marriage? I say carry on and be happy no matter who voted for whom. Try and treat the situation with humor, that’s the only way.
REACTIONS TO IMPOVERISHED WIFE
I was married to a man like that. At first he’d just get angry about the way I handled money (which meant he didn’t give me any) but then he he started getting irritated with every single thing I did and began to smacking me around. He’d apologize after, but his behavior went from bad to worse and finally my friends stepped in, advising me to leave him. It was rough at first, but somehow I managed and I haven’t looked back since. I suggest you do the same. Sincerely,
– Jane L., Albuquerque, NM
I don’t know if you have any college, but my advice would be for you to tell your husband to go fuck himself and go out and find a job. You can put the kids in daycare or get your folks to take care of them. You’ve got to take some action, not just stay in the house and do nothing but give in to your husband’s whims. I wish you the best,
– Tony M., Hillsdale, MI
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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.