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Secret Abortion

CD Knowles 4 months ago

Dear Knowles,

My fifteen year old daughter is pregnant from some boy she met at a party. She’s a good girl and got taken advantage of. According to her, she’s missed three periods, which the doctor confirmed. We have not told her father about her condition. I intend to drive her to a city about two hours away for an abortion. There is no doubt in my mind that I’m doing the right thing, but her father is anti-abortion and thinks the procedure is murder. I don’t plan to tell him what we are doing. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. However, it worries me that both my daughter and myself will be living a lie for the rest of our lives. I don’t want my daughter to believe she’s doing wrong just because her father doesn’t believe in the procedure.

Please advise,

Worried Mother


Dear Worried Mother,

First, I’m not going to tell you you’re doing the wrong thing as far as the procedure goes. I believe every girl and woman should have the deciding voice in whether they want to carry a pregnancy or not: that is their right and decision and no one else’s. Furthermore, it’s a perfectly safe procedure. The problem lies in the fact that you are being deceitful and that you are including your daughter in a lie that could blow up in her face (and yours) should your husband ever learn the truth. Best would be to tell the truth, especially since what you’re doing is safe and legal. Since you obviously can’t do that, then you must explain very carefully to your daughter why abortion is such a divisive issue and let her decide for herself whether or not she wants to move forward. The choice, frankly, is hers, including whether she is willing to lie to her father. At fifteen she is old enough to decide what she wants to do with her body. I hope that helps.

All the best,

CD Knowles



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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

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