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Wanting to Feel Sexy

CD Knowles 9 months ago

Dear Knowles,

I’m a forty-seven-year-old woman in perimenopause. No one told me it would be this difficult — the mood changes, night sweats, heavy periods, irritability. Meanwhile my husband, two years younger, seems like he’s at the height of his sexuality, wanting me all the time. Normally this is great, but right now the last thing my body wants is a lot of sex. We are a very loving couple and so I give in to him pretty much whenever he wants, but it’s no longer so pleasurable and I’d like to find a way to enjoy it more. Any ideas?

Wanting to Feel Sexy

feel sexy

Dear Wanting,

Yours is a common problem. The first thing you need to do, if you haven’t already, is pay a visit to your gynecologist. She can help you out with creams and hormones that will reduce night sweats, etc. and make you feel more comfortable having sexual intercourse. But I would also seriously recommend acupuncture — a few treatments with a good practitioner should reduce most symptoms plus give you an all-around feeling of well-being. Diet and exercise are important, too. And access to good information: if you google books on menopause, you should find a solid reading list that will help with a lot of your questions. Here’s another thing that can help: marijuana. If you live in a state where weed is legal, I suggest taking an edible or having a little smoke before lovemaking — it’s a great aphrodisiac! And take heart! This is just another journey and you’re going to do fine as long as you accept the fact that what you’re going through is a natural process.

I wish you the best,

CD Knowles



Dear Feeling Awkward,

I once had a painter client insist I hang some of her canvases in my shop (I own a beauty salon). I didn’t like any of them, so I had to say, no, sorry, and lost her as a client. Oh well. That was better than having to look at ugly art all day.

Jeannie C., Phoenix, AZ


Dear Feeling Awkward,

What a dilemma! It’s always hard to know you’re going to do something that hurts someone’s feelings. I must say I’ve taken the cowardly route — birthday gifts I can’t stand on the mantel, cheesy paintings on the wall. To me it’s all about love, so I don’t care.

William S., Portland, OR


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Disclaimer: CD Knowles is not a doctor or psychotherapist. Any opinions expressed on Knowles Knows are just that — opinions.

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